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Quotients of Love: Hurt But Not Harm

Updated: Nov 4, 2019

The last blog about the four quotients of love presented over the past three weeks is about tolerance in love.


Love has in it all of the struggle, passion, beauty, and truth that life has to offer. The willingness to stay in it and find its gifts requires great courage. The courage of expressing joy and the courage of expressing tears. The courage of expressing resilience and the courage of expressing heartache.


Love tolerates hurt, but doesn’t accept harm: Love hurts. No matter how much we wish otherwise, hurt is inevitable. We are always going to get hurt and hurt others. We can make peace through, “I’m sorry,” and “Please forgive me.” These things love must be resilient enough to tolerate. Harm, however, is a complete, consistent disregard for and rejection of love. It discounts delight, rejects curiosity, and mocks strength. Love, at this point, is most loving when we walk away from harm. It doesn’t mean that we stop praying or stop hoping. But we no longer throw love at the feet of rejection.